A Dream Wedding, Specializing in Napa and Sonoma Wine Country

What are the latest color trends for weddings?

In years past, brides selected their wedding colors that reflected the time of year they were getting married, i.e., pastels for spring, gemstone colors for summer, and autumn hues for the fall. Those traditions have fallen to the way side and now brides are able to choose their favorite colors, no matter the season. One of the latest color trends are citrus brights, with hot pink, granny smith green and sunshine yellow leading the way. More traditional brides are also using these colors as accents with a black and white or all ivory wedding. Whatever your personal color preference, rest assure, it will work with your season.

-Robbin

My sister is my maid of honor. Can she host my bridal shower?

I always love the idea of having your sister as your maid of honor - what better person to support and help you with the planning, than someone who knows you best? However, when it comes to the bridal shower, it's considered inappropriate for an immediate family member to host. I recommend that a family friend or the other bridesmaids offer to host the party and your sister can help by offering her home for the party, baking goodies to be served, organize the party games, help with the decorations etc. This will make her feel like she is a part of the shower and not go against social etiquette.

-Robbin

Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?

This question is asked a lot by my clients, as the costs have wedding have increased. Surprisingly, the bride’s parents are responsible for hosting the rehearsal dinner, but in recent times, the groom’s parents have taken over that financial role. They may also offer to pay for additional wedding costs such as the beverages or a post brunch. Keep in mind; if they do offer to host these events, they are responsible for selecting the location and setting the budget. Popular rehearsal trends are casual BBQ's, pizza parties or wine tours/picnics.

-Robbin

I'm having my wedding close to Valentine's Day and wanted to incorporate that holiday theme into my wedding. Do you have any suggestions?

What a romantic thought, getting married on Valentine’s and making it part of your wedding theme!

If you haven't already chosen your wedding colors, then red and white are the obvious choices. Red accents infused into your table decor will also display the holiday theme. Red roses or small red hearts in the floral centerpieces or something as simple as using red napkins can fit the bill.

Heart shaped chocolates as favors or mints placed in the bathrooms baskets is another subtle way to highlight the holiday theme.

If you really want to go all out with the holiday idea, making a "heart logo" with your names and placing it on your invitations, programs, escort cards and menus would do the trick.

Any of these themed touches will make your wedding extra special.

-Robbin

I have been planning my wedding for almost a year and have most everything done. However I'm getting nervous about how to pull it all together and while still enjoying my wedding day. Should I hire a wedding day coordinator?

Absolutely! A wedding day coordinator can act as your liaison throughout the day by keeping everything on track as well as making sure you and your family will enjoy the wedding. One misunderstanding about a wedding day coordinator is that they just show up the day of the wedding. This is not the case. Most will need least 1-2 months of preparation before the wedding to insure that the wedding day goes smoothly. They will review vendor contracts, create a wedding day timeline and assist with choreographing the ceremony. The coordinator will attend the ceremony rehearsal and on the day of the wedding, check in and supervise all your vendors .They will also be responsible to place your escort cards, menus, favors, etc. out at the wedding.

You can estimate a minimum of 20 hours and prices will vary by region. When all is said and done, it may be the best decision you make on your wedding day!

-Robbin

My fiancé and I don't want to include children at our wedding. How do we express our wishes to friends and family without hurting feelings?

Many couples feel the same way as you do, plus many wedding sites are not conducive to children. My experience has been that most children get bored at these events rather quickly, which makes it difficult for parents to enjoy the activities while watching them.

I recommend you get the word out to your family and friends that you have decided not to include children and then recommend a reputable nanny service to care for them. Another option is to pay for the service yourself and choose a central location where the children can be dropped off and picked up. Alerting them as soon as possible will give them plenty of time to make arrangements and for you to smooth over any ruffled feathers.

-Robbin

I want beautiful nails for my wedding pictures, but have a habit of biting them. What can I do... Help!

We all want beautiful nails for those "close-up" wedding ring pictures. A professional nail salon is the answer! I recommend calling them 3-4 months before your wedding and schedule an appointment with a nail technician. Plan for weekly visits until your wedding day. They will give you "tips and tricks" on how to stop biting them and what they can do to make them beautiful for your special day!

-Robbin

I'm invited to a wedding next spring and am unable to attend. Am I still obligated to send a gift?

As a wedding planner, this is one of the most misunderstood questions I'm asked.

Most brides and guests don't realize that bringing a gift to attend a wedding is NOT required. Actually the gift you bring is the "gift of your presence" at the event. With that being said, most guests do bring a gift, similar to you bringing a hostess gift when being invited to a dinner party.

So to answer your questions, no you are not obligated to send a gift but a nice had written note expressing your regrets is expected.

-Robbin

My wedding was last summer and I haven't sent out my thank you notes yet. What is an acceptable time frame for me to send them out?

Etiquette says that you should send out your thank you notes no later than two months after receiving the gift. This means, that if you receive a gift before the wedding, you can mail out that thank you note before the actual event. I recommend to my clients to spend around 30 minutes each day (preferably lunch hour) to send out 4-5 notes. This way it doesn't seem overwhelming. One other etiquette note; thank you cards must be hand written and cannot be computer generated.

-Robbin

I am planning a destination wedding. Am I responsible to pay for the bridal party's hotel rooms?

The wine country is a popular destination location for weddings and this question is one I am asked a lot. The basic answer is yes, you are responsible to pay for their overnight accommodations. The bridal party is responsible for their own airline tickets, transportation to and from the airport and meals and expenses while they are visiting. When asking your bridal party to be a part of your special celebration, keep in mind these additional costs for you and them.

-Robbin

I am not a bride who loves flowers and don't want to spend a lot of money on them but also want my tables to look pretty. How do I save money on flowers and still have the dining tables look nice?

The best way to save money with your floral arrangements is by selecting flowers that are in-season. Most all flowers are available year round, however the cost associated with importing can really add to the cost of the floral arrangements. Another way to save is by having less flowers and more filler greenery in the arrangements. Hand-tied bouquets are another expensive style, as it can take several dozen flowers to make one bouquet.

-Robbin

What is the role of the mother-in-law and do you have any suggestions of how to maintain a good relationship with your future daughter-in-law?

The role of the future mother-in-law is one of support only. You may offer to help with any duties or tasks, but ultimately you have no say in the wedding planning. As for suggestions to maintaining a good relationship with your future daughter-in-law, that might best be answered by a professional counselor or therapist. I will say however, just the fact that you asked the question, says you understand how important that connection is to your son and your future grandchildren and you are willing to make the extra effort for a positive relationship.

-Robbin

I'm shopping for my wedding dress. What is the best time of year to get the best deals?

Everyone is looking for the best deals due to the slowing of the economy and many of the bridal gown stores are running specials year round. However, traditionally the very "best" time of year is over the holidays and through the first couple of months of the new year. This is the time that the new gowns are arriving and the stores are eager to liquidate their old inventory.

-Robbin

I am working on my invitations and have several couples on our list who are living together and not married. My fiancée and I are friends with both of them. How do I address the invitations?

Addressing invitations always brings up many questions, as couples want to be sure to not offend any of their guests. When addressing invitations to couples you are both friends with who are living together and not married, the rule of thumb is to invite both of them and list them on the invitation by alphabetical order of last name.

For example, your friends are Mary Jones and Bill Smith. Most couples would think to address the man's name first, but in this case, that is incorrect. The names should be put on separate lines:

Ms. Mary Jones

Mr. Bill Smith

Inside of the envelope, you should still list by last names but can delete the formalities and just address them as Mary Jones and Bill Smith.

-Robbin

My parents want us to have our wedding at their home to save money. However, from everything I have read, it seems like home weddings cost more. Is my research correct?

One of the most romantic and sentimental locations for a wedding is the family home. The thought is that it will save money; but in reality, they are generally more costly and require added work to pull off. You may save money on site fees, but the cost of rental equipment can exceed such expenses. Other factors to consider and that can add to the cost are:

Parking - Is there enough parking or will you need to hire parking attendants or shuttle services?

Restrooms - Are there adequate restrooms or will you need to bring in portable toilets?

Lighting - Is there enough lighting for safety and dinning or will you need to hire a company?

Kitchen - Most home kitchens are not designed for large events and the caterer will need to set up a remote kitchen which also adds to the cost.

Before you decide on having your wedding at a private home, I strongly recommend hiring a wedding planner to conduct a "site inspection" to assess the home’s suitability. Usually after such an inspection, you can decide if your home is the best location for your wedding and reception.

-Robbin

My fiancée and I are debating between a buffet and food stations. Can you tell me the pros and cons of each?

While the concept of a buffet and food stations may sound similar, they are truly totally different styles of food presentation.

A buffet is perfect for the couple who loves food known as comfort food or even the more casual BBQ style. It is usually served on one long table, offering a variety of salads and entree choices. This type of service leans towards a more casual approach and can accommodate guests with dietary restrictions as well as those with a larger appetite.

Food stations are usually individual tables, called stations, which commonly feature ethnic cuisine at each and may include demonstrations. Example: Pacific Rim, Italian, Asian, grilled meats/vegetables, etc. Guests are encouraged to visit each station on different trips, treating them like small plates. Couples regularly pair wine with the food at each station. This is a fun, semi-formal and interactive style of food service usually chosen by couples who are "foodies".

Both styles will not save you money given the labor required to set-up and service the tables, but they will save time, leaving more time for dancing and other activities later in the evening.

-Robbin

I want to include my future mother-in-law in the wedding planning. Can you give me some suggestions that will make her feel like she is a part of the celebration without over-shadowing my own mother?

How thoughtful and sweet of you to want to include your future mother-in-law in the wedding plans.

I recommend taking a look at the tasks at hand and select a few items that are not of interest to either you or your Mother or something you can do as a team. For example, if she is creative, have her help with making the favors. Does she have computer skills? Have her print the programs or escort cards. Maybe she knows how to do calligraphy? Have her address the invitations. If her talents are tamer, then invite her to help select the invitations, look for your wedding dress or attend the fitting. Include her in the catering or cake tasting.

No matter the extent she participates, you will have formed a bond and ally for life!

-Robbin

My fiancée and I lead very busy lives and are planning a destination wedding. Needless to say, we need a wedding planner! What questions should I ask to help me determine the best one for us?

I'm glad you have chosen to hire a wedding planner. The stress of planning a wedding, let alone one out of town, makes hiring a planner a wise decision. I have several key questions/tools for screening a planner. First, ask how many weddings they have planned. A qualified planner should have planned at least 100 weddings to insure the experience, knowledge and problem solving abilities needed to plan your wedding.

When making calls, note the time it takes the planner to return your call. This is most likely the same service you will receive should you hire them. I would not recommend hiring a planner that takes more than 48 hours to return your call.

Ask for a reference list of recent brides and grooms and take the time to call them. Again, if the planner does not wish to provide you with a list, I would cross them off your list.

Lastly, ask them how they are paid. If the planner charges a percentage of the wedding costs or takes vendor referral fees, they have a conflict of interest and are not working for you. Hire a planner by the hour and they will be accountable to you. Expect to pay for 60-100 hours depending on the services provided.

-Robbin

I'm at a loss as to what gift to give my bridesmaids. I have been in several weddings and have more heart necklaces then I could ever use. I want to be creative yet practical. Any suggestions?

I am asked a lot by my clients for unusual gift ideas for their bridal party members. One of the biggest misconceptions is that you must purchase the same gift for each of your bridal party. While you may decide to purchase a pair of earrings or bracelet for each of them, think about purchasing a separate and personal gift instead.

Consider each of your party members' hobbies, interests, etc., and then purchase a gift that reflects those interests. Example: Maybe your maid of honor loves being pampered, so she would enjoy a day at the Spa or a massage. Perhaps one of your bridesmaids is a collector of Limoges boxes, and you can get a wedding motif box as a gift. Personalized jewelry, a weekend getaway, and tickets to a concert are just a few of the personal and thoughtful gifts that they are sure to enjoy and cherish.

-Robbin

We have $5,000.00 to spend on our wedding...sad but true. Do we have to elope?

The number one question I'm asked is, 'what does a wedding cost?' That is a difficult question to answer given that costs are so different from region to region. Since I don't know where you are getting married, how any guests are attending and your personal priorities, I cannot accurately answer your question. I will say however, a $5,000 budget in most regions of the US will not be sufficient to host a wedding and reception. Given the economy, eloping is becoming more and more common and many popular destination areas are offering excellent prices.

Keep in mind, down the road, you can always plan on having a larger reception for family and friends when finances allow.

-Robbin

We're having a destination wedding in Sonoma next spring and a few of my single bridesmaids have already asked if they can bring a date. What's the proper etiquette when it comes to inviting single friends?

Congratulations of your wine country wedding! Destination weddings are so much fun to plan, but more issues can arise due to the circumstances and this is one of them.

Etiquette says, you should allow your single bridal party members to bring a date. However you are not obligated to pay for any of your other guests’ dates. Depending on the costs associated with hosting your dinner, beverages etc., it can run $100.00 to $200.00 for each additional guest. If you can afford that added expense, then by all means, allow your guests to bring a date. However, if that is more than your budget allows, explain to your friends the need to keep expenses down and there will be many other single people at the wedding. Then make a point to seat your singles at dinner tables with like-minded guests. Your bridal party dates can be seating with them or other tables.

Who knows, maybe there will be a love match at your wedding!

-Robbin

What is my recourse if I have paid a vendor in full (by check) and they go out of business a week before my wedding?

First of all I want to say how sorry I am that this happened to you. As a wedding planner, I have heard these stories before and that's why we pre-screen all of our vendors, before we recommend them to our clients.

In your case, I recommend you consult an attorney if you want to attempt to recoup your loses. If the vendor is no longer in business, this may be difficult and costly. Another option is to contact consumer watch dog agencies such as the Better Business Bureau. You can also vent your frustrations on websites such as Yelp. This would also alert other brides to this vendors actions.

No matter the outcome, please don't let this affect your special day.

-Robbin

We bought a house before we were married and have everything we could need, but are getting pressured from family to register somewhere. What are "wedding registry" alternatives that are acceptable?

More and more couples are waiting until their careers are established before they walk down the aisle, which means they have already purchased or set-up a home,so your question/dilemma is not unique.

What I tell my clients is, if they choose not to register, they will end up with more crystal and sliver serving pieces then they could use in a lifetime!

Here are some politically correct and trendy options that will make everyone happy.

Register your honeymoon with a travel agency. This may sound unusual, but actually it's an excellent way to get a gift you are sure to enjoy. Give your guests the name of a charity that you are connected with, such a www.justgive.org or www.changingthepresent.org . Let your guests know about your registry on either your wedding website or word of mouth. Either of the alternatives are a great solution to your problem.

-Robbin